Systems and How Much I Resist Implementing Them

Two months ago the New York Times published an article titled, "A Natural Fix for ADHD."  

Two ideas stand out to me:

"Recent neuroscience research shows that people with A.D.H.D. are actually hard-wired for novelty-seeking — a trait that had, until relatively recently, a distinct evolutionary advantage. Compared with the rest of us, they have sluggish and underfed brain reward circuits, so much of everyday life feels routine and under-stimulating."  and 

From the standpoint of teachers, parents and the world at large, the problem with people with A.D.H.D. looks like a lack of focus and attention and impulsive behavior. But if you have the “illness,” the real problem is that, to your brain, the world that you live in essentially feels not very interesting.

So why have I titled this essay, "systems?"  Friends of mine recently emphasized the importance of creating and honoring systems to getting-things-done; however, when applied to the brains of folks who fit the description above things can get very tricky. 

Of course, you need a system to get things done: look through bills every other Tuesday, workout every other day, study from 8-9pm five days a week.   But how can the ADHD adult get a system to work for rather than against her?  More often then not, setting up a system is a recipe for predicted failure. 

So here is what I recommend:

In my experience it takes a good amount of time to really notice without shame what does and does not work for you.  For instance when I do paperwork, I am much more productive if low volume percussive music plays.   Why?  Because in some way neurologically the sound seems to siphon off the extra energy that perpetually courses through my brain and body when I sit still yet the pulse keeps my mind stimulated enough to retain some measure of focus and follow-through.  Another action that works for me? Keeping a simple salad of black and kidney beans with a selection of herbs and veggies in my fridge as often as I can. I am amazed at the effect that these complex carbs have on my sense well-being and stability.  Not only do I feel peaceful when I eat like this but this easy simple dish helps to control my sugar cravings (and it's a cheap solution to boot).  

Systems will almost always be the way to get things done but give yourself the time and compassion to figure out what is best for your brain and body before you undertake any commitment that requires, well, commitment. 

An Unchosen Hiatus

This blog is supposed to be weekly and recently it has not been.  I have found it excruciating to put out a worthy narrative.  I put it down to getting very near intense vulnerability and as of yet not being able to sit with it.  

Recently I've been thinking a lot about the poor sense of time that afflicts that ADHD brain.  I've read about it many times but I've been seeking ways to describe how it manifests itself in my own life in order to understand how it severely undermines my life goals.  In this essay, I'm thinking about it in terms of the many projects I've started but not finished.  I must also share that recently someone described the ADHD mind as one with too many tabs left open.  Oh, how this immediately resonated with me. 

The music festival I created two years ago was an ideal project for me because it was long term enough to take me well outside my comfort zone in terms of planning but also short term enough that I could see the end of the horizon from months away.  Essentially, in both years, I worked on it from January 1st until the mid-May.

What of my career goals such as they have ever been?  In 2006, I said to myself that I'd like to pursue a voice over career.  Now it's nearing the end of 2014 and I have little to show for it other than some expensive equipment and a good amount of training.  A few years ago, I had to admit to myself that I didn't enjoy working at home, alone in a studio and that this wasn't necessarily an ADHD issue.  That's more about my fundamentally preferring to work with people in person on a daily basis.  I am at my best and most true self when I collaborate.   Money has been spent, a few demos were made, one paying job, lots of Facebook and Linkdin connections but, alas, no discernible career.  Notwithstanding the nature of choosing such a difficult career to create, I couldn't lock into the "dailiness" of this job.  No external structure, no official goals, no coworkers in the same space with whom to talk. 

Upon the advice of these ADHD business coaches, I have kept any and all notes that I need in life in one notebook.  This has been fantastic.  I rarely misplace this notebook and I know where all my reminders and ideas sit.  I bring this up because I have tons of ideas in there: recording and video projects, design ideas, essays, concert performance dreams written out, etc.  The ideas don't end.  It's the execution that eludes me still.  At this writing the vulnerability of reopening and examining these life dreams haunt rather than inform me.  Stay with my my readers.  I'm working hard to be strong in that space.