Changing Habits

Changing habits, really changing habits, is extremely challenging so I thought that I'd report here about some success that I've had in slowly changing some long term destructive habits of mine.  Like many ADHD adults (and children), I'm a sugar addict.  A while back, while staring at a partially eaten chocolate cake, one of those huge sheet cakes that feeds at least 50 people, I said to my friend mournfully, "I could eat all of that and still crave more."  She replied with a phrase she learned from reading about recovery, "One is too many and a thousand isn't enough."  I've never forgotten that phrase and know it to be deeply true.  

That said, as a sugar addict I finally figured out that my goal wasn't to learn how to fight craving (that rarely works) but how best to limit how often those cravings even arose, an offensive rather than a defensive strategy.  

After much reading and food experimentation, I figured out that like many ADHD adults, my brain does best on beans and to a nearly equal extent, protein.  The more I've learned to cook beans in all their glory, the less I crave sugar than I used to.

I cannot emphasize this enough.

Not only that, eating low glycemic index, slow burn foods keeps me feeling level and awake for hours at a time.  Additionally, I've greatly minimized the crashes I had after eating too much sugar or high carb meals.  In many ways I am lucky: I love to cook, will try any international cuisine and I am the opposite of a picky eater.  The foods that are right for me I also really like. 

So I recommend experimenting with different recipes that focus on complex carbohydrates.  There are fantastic cookbooks out there and and endless amount of recipes online. 

A Voice of My Own

I'm 42 years old and I finally hearing sound of my own voice. 

I'm also 42 years old feeling like an 18 year old.   By that I mean, feeling ready to finally go to college in the way I wish I could have done, finally ready to move to NY or Chicago and pursue that sketch comedy/music career that has been with me since day one.  

But I'm 42 not 18.  

I'm 42 and I want a family. 

I want a life WITH someone.  

If this were a blog about my years of depression I would tell you that for me, and I speak only for myself, depression and the terrible sense of self that came along with it, did not mix with sex, emotional intimacy, joy or planning for the future.  

The world awaits my entrance (to sound just a tad megalomaniacal).

More soon.  Much work is being done and I look forward to posting weekly once again.