The Only Thing Tempting is Temptation Itself

Traveling and preparing for an overly tempting food environment can be challenging for most of us.  ADHD adults have their own issues with which to contend such as the near absolute truth that if the cravings occur (and they will) we will indulge them.  Read here to see more of my thoughts on this.  Last weekend I made a trip to another city where I knew there would be many tempting foods, from the junk food at the gas stations to the too-large portion sizes in restaurants to party food that I always love, love, love.   

Some really amazing things happened that have given me hope based on reality rather than wishful thinking. First off I reviewed the weekend before I went to envision the parts that would prove challenging. Then I made sure to carry with me unsalted cashews, which I like but don't crave.  These staved off any and all cravings on the five hour bus ride.  I also managed for the first time ever to go out for breakfast and eat as I knew would be best for me given my goal of stemming cravings. And it worked!  I ate oatmeal at a diner while my friends got whatever they wanted.  Additionally, I was open with them and told them I was looking for ways that would stem my cravings and would be eating a bit differently this time.  Where I faltered, if you will, was at the party (which was the reason I was up there).  I ate WAY too much (really and truly fantastic) cake.  Over all though, I wasn't too upset about this.  I made some real changes that were my choices to make AND I managed to really lesson my cravings.  

My next challenge is to contend with my 10lb weight gain that I've experienced ever since doubling my antidepressant (from 75 mg of Effexor to 150mg) a year ago.  Just yesterday my MD informed me that she thinks that the change has slowed my metabolism.  Doubling my antidepressant has been a fantastic decision but I'm seeing that there are some unwanted side effects.  

More soon! 

Understanding Time Blindness (well, my time blindness)

Time blindness - I am completely fascinated by this topic in relation to ADHD thinking.  How do I describe what I don't see nor do naturally? 

"According to Dr. Russell Barkley, a leading ADHD expert, we struggle to have a memory of the future. What that means, Luther explained, is that it is very difficult for those with ADHD to see ourselves in the future. We can 't connect to our future selves on an emotional or intellectual level. We aren 't able to think of our future selves and act from what our future selves will really, really want.  It's very difficult for us to remember and act from how we want to feel and be a month from now, let alone years from now. "  Citation


The lack of this ability leads to impulsive decisions (pick your vice that you indulge) and years of wasted time.  

One way I think of this inability to imagine the future is to imagine a reverse spiral of layers upon layers of challenge. 

Let's imagine those "begats" that you may come across if you ever read through some of the bible.   A dysfunctioning neurological system begats poor sleep habits begats emotional sensitivity begats morning moodiness began sleepiness begats forgetfulness begats poor focus in school begats inability to do homework well begats grade anxiety begats an already squishy self esteem begats learning to keep quiet begats toxic stress begats overeating begats sugar addiction begats sugar crashes begats years of weight loss and gain and loss and gain begats finding oneself almost 43 years old wondering how I missed healthy life planning.   

I now know how I missed it (read above) but it seems imperative to understand how I didn't see in order to now see.