Pass/Fail

Getting Things Done.  

This is quite literally all that is ever required in life.  

At least this is what it seems to one, myself, who has never been particularly good at nor enjoyed Getting. Things. Done.   If you're aren't good at this, a huge price will be paid.  

What did I need to get done today?  To get my car  inspected asap as the previous one had expired yesterday.   

The registration had expired in March and thus I couldn't order a new one online until I had gone through and passed the inspection.  Why didn't I just go then?  Because things cost money and I was just Putting. Things. Off.  Also, I've needed for months to replace two brake and turn signal bulbs and also the left side window shield wiper.   Without the fixed brake light, the car doesn't pass inspection. Lastly,  I wanted to do both of these tasks myself but that takes some focus.   Never easy for me.

I delayed and delayed learning how to do both of these things, weeks and months of delaying.  Today I HAD to get things done so I went to the coffee shop and watched two YouTube videos that taught me all I needed to know about changing bulbs and wipers.   That took about, maybe, half an hour.  At the inspection station, there were no cars in line.  I was done in 15 minutes, a rare joy indeed. All told, the videos, the repairs, the inspection and the journey to and from took about two hours.  Only two !**^&^^% hours.  And so many months and months of wasteful lead time. 

For the ADHD brain, my brain, few  Things. That. Need. Doing. ever  feel instrinsically structured and so because of this I either feel no visceral imperative to get things done or I feel everything at once and freeze in motion.  

My task today was to accept that I was going to waste $100 of money (the late inspection fee) that had been within my power not to waste but also, and more importantly, to take a few more steps on the path of changing my relationship with the tasks that lay ahead of me, which means to continue to change my perception of time, which until recently was either, Now or Forever.  "Now" I can take.  "Forever" is impossible. 

When I have tasks that feel overwhelming to me (read utterly boring) I escape.

Today I broke down the tasks that needed doing and consciously reminded myself that this or that task would be done well before the sun went down.  Additionally, even if my car failed inspection, which it didn't, I would face that challenge when it happened and take it one, two or three steps at a time.    

This entire essay brings to inevitably to this question: 


What does the ADHD adult or child fear most in this world?  

Boredom.  

Today I made my tasks more productive and,well, not boring.  

For that I am quite happy.