Nothing is Easy

As March approaches, my fundraising campaign is delayed somewhat.  After working in fits and starts to put it together, I came across a snag two evenings ago.  It turns out that for a Kickstarter campaign, I (or anyone) can't use coupons as premiums for donors.  A few businesses gave me twenty five five-dollars-off coupons but unfortunately Kickstarter won't allow this.  Why? I'll let you go read those rules. This snafu however gives me perfect example of something that trips up the ADHD brain.  I may have early on read the list of rules for Kickstarter premiums, I may not have. I don't remember. Over the years when I tell people I made this or that mistake he or she will say some version of, "oh, no big deal. We all make mistakes."  But what they don't appreciate is the sheer volume of ego crushing, hope destroying, shame inducing mistakes that a person is capable of making over the years. At a certain point you find yourself mentally quivering in a corner, traumatized from this lack of trust in your brain, your memory and your ability to notice patterns and synthesize them, I could go on and on.  
         I didn't quite return to that very familiar corner two evenings ago.  I lost my steam, watched some TV but also read about Indiegogo and found that this may be a good fit for fundraising. I feel a bit behind schedule but I'm not a particularly worried about it.  March 1st felt like a good solid launch date for fundraising but now it will be a week or so later than this. 
At every level though, there are just more and more decisions to make. More areas to fuck up and go down that rabbit hole.